Read on as we guide you through the basics.

Pssssssssssssss(t)!
A few pointers before we get going

• Don’t start too soon
  Children are ready for potty-training anywhere between 18 months and 3 years.  Girls are generally quicker off the mark in this department than boys, and take to the training faster and more easily.
• Be on the lookout for signs of readiness
  It’s a fact that if your child is ready, the process will be simple.  If not, you’re in for a battle. Age is not the only determining factor in deciding to start potty-training:  physiological and psychological readiness is important too.  See the list below for signs to watch out for.
• Go with the flow (sorry, we couldn’t resist)
  Once you’ve begun the training, don’t rush your child through the process.  Each child responds differently, with some toddlers catching on in a day or two and others taking up to 6 months to get it right.  If he resists and is not having any of it, maybe now is not the right time. Relax.  It will happen!  We promise that you won’t be changing your son’s diapers forever.
• Get ready
  Read all the information you can get your hands on so that you know what to expect.  Buy some illustrated children’s books on the subject and read aloud to your child.  Allow him to watch other family members use the toilet, and (not for the squeamish) dispose of the contents of a nappy in the toilet so that he knows what it’s for, and then let him flush it.
• Go shopping
  Take your little one shopping for his very own potty, and spend some time decorating it with stickers depicting his favourite characters.  You can even name his little throne:  Jon’s John or Lou’s Loo would work well!  Buy him a few sets of disposable training pants, just in case.
• Talk the talk
  Teach him the lingo:  whether you want to go (for example) with “wee” and “poop” or “number one” and “number two” is really up to you.  Whatever you choose, use the terms consistently and tell all the other family members and caregivers in the home what you’ll be using, so as to avoid confusing your trainee.
• Set aside some time
  Make sure that you’ve cleared your schedule for a week or so to get the plan in motion.  Your child needs consistent direction and guidance, which is best done when there are no external stresses or time constraints.  Don’t begin during a difficult period: if your child is unwell or unhappy, you’re having guests for an extended period or moving house, for instance.  Start with a clean slate.
• Stay positive
  Try to maintain a cheerful, supportive attitude while potty-training your child.  Offer constant encouragement and don’t fall into the trap of punishing or berating him if he doesn’t get it right within your expected time-frame.  This could lead to relapses later… and you don’t want those!
• Be patient
  As with most important parenting issues, these things take time.  Stay calm, no matter what happens and just know that this, too, shall pass.

Time to go?
How to know if your child is ready

You know your child better than anyone, so recognizing these signs of readiness will be a piece of cake. It’s likely your child is ready if he:

• can understand and obey age-appropriate instructions
• verbalises himself well and asks basic questions
• is displaying increased independence
• enjoys dressing himself
• can pull down his own pants or disposable trainers, and pull them up again
• goes for a stretch of two hours or more with a dry nappy
• wakes up with a dry nappy
• has fairly regular bowel movements
• expresses that he needs to or is about to go in his nappy by stance, facial expressions or verbally
• expresses that his nappy has been wet or soiled
• displays discomfort when wearing a used nappy
• understands toilet terminology
• can get on to and off the potty by himself
• shows interest in using or directly asks to use the toilet or potty
• can control the muscles responsible for bowel movement and urination

Target practice
Getting down to the nitty gritty of potty-training

Okay.  You’ve recognised the signs of readiness, you’ve got the potty and you’ve prepared yourself and your little one, so… gee whiz! It’s toilet time. Follow these guidelines for good results (not forgetting to stay calm and supportive):

Get the potty out
Together with your child, make a ceremony of placing his brand new potty in the bathroom.  Explain that he is going to be using it from now on whenever he needs to go.  Don’t let him feel pressurised or intimidated, but show him that you’re excited and tell him that he’s a big boy.  If possible, place a potty in every bathroom in the house and pop an extra one in the boot of your car for when you’re out visiting family and friends.  Consistency is key.

Schedule toilet time
Get him to remove his training pants or trousers, and ask him to sit on his potty, asking him to do what needs to be done, using the terminology you’ve taught him.  He’ll get the idea eventually.At specific intervals during the day, visit the bathroom together.  Elimination generally occurs within one hour of eating or drinking – bear this in mind when planning trips to the loo. If he wants privacy, turn your back if it makes him feel more comfortable, and if he wants to get off, don’t stop him.

Make a run for it
Be prepared to dash to the bathroom at the drop of a hat.  Watch out for signs that he’s about to do his business.  Every child is different:  some may have a specific facial expression, whilst others grow very quiet and still, squat down or race out of the room.  When this happens, quickly encourage him to run to his potty.   Eventually, he’ll recognise these signals himself and will be dashing off to the bathroom all by himself.

Make hygiene a priority
Teach your little one to wash his hands after using the loo, and keep the bowl of the potty rinsed and disinfected at all times.

Offer rewards
An incentive can go a long way.  By offering your child a special sweet or surprise may encourage him to go the extra mile – but try not to overuse this technique.

Praise good results and make light of accidents
Don’t stop offering positive reinforcement, even when things aren’t going brilliantly.  Your love and support is really important during this process and can’t be emphasised enough.  When accidents happen (and they will), play them down and don’t show frustration or disappointment, as this can cause self-esteem problems and subsequent setbacks.

Be realistic
As we have already mentioned, this process is going to take time, a sense of humour, good planning and a whole lot of patience.  Don’t listen to negative feedback from others, and just keep at it.

You’ll get there.

REFERENCES
www.familydoctor.org
www.mayoclinic.com
www.keepkidshealthy.com
www.dictionaryfordads.com
www.kidshealth.org
www.drphil.com

Print the checklist

How do the grades in South African schools work?
Grade 000 – Age 3, turning 4
Grade 00 – Age 4, turning 5
Grade 0 (R) – Age 5, turning 6
Grade 1 – Age 6, turning 7

Grades 1 – 9 are compulsory, known as General Education and Training
Grade 10 – 12 are known to be Further Education and Training
Matric (Grade 12) is the year of matriculation and required for tertiary education

Should my child attend a public or private school?
This is totally up to the parents. Every parent would love to give their child the best opportunities possible but the word “best” in itself is debatable. One couple might feel that a private school is the best option, while another couple may have a different belief system and feel that a semi-private or a public school will be best for their child. Some parents would love to send their child to a private school but can simply not afford it. Don’t beat yourself up about this as your best is always good enough for your child.

Please keep in mind that every single child has the opportunity to pass matric and get university acceptance whether they attend a public or private school. In recent years, however, the process of choosing a school has become extremely competitive with parents feeling more and more pressure to send their kids to private schools. Don’t fall victim to this! Do what you believe is right.

When do I have to register my child?
Most schools start accepting applications from July in the year prior to starting school. Many moms, however, are registering their kids from the age of two as it’s not always easy to get into the school of your choice. Private and semi-private schools usually have a waiting list. Do your homework, go to open days and get your child’s name on the waiting list at the school of your choice. It’s wise to register at two or three different schools just to be safe – you don’t want to start looking for another alternative at the last minute and then have to settle for something you might not be happy with.

Your child can be registered at any school, even if it’s not in your area, although the schools are allowed to give preference to kids in the area – which means your child’s name might go on a waiting list.

Are they allowed to test my child before registration?
Absolutely not, it is unlawful and the Department of Education should be notified.

Do I have to pay registration fees?
Public schools are not allowed to charge a registration or any other fee, but private and semi-public schools usually charge a registration fee – payable when you hand in your registration form.

What documents will I need?

• Birth certificate
• Immunisation card
• Last report card or transfer card for children who have been to school previously

For more information, call the Department of Education’s toll-free hotline
on 0800 202 933.

Perhaps at this point I should say that I am not a parent, but rather a principal of a school. And when I decided to open our school, I wanted it to be a place where people would come to learn together and be inspired. A place where we would feel a deep sense of connectedness and belonging with those around us.

So I did some research on schools. In fact, I spent six months visiting pre-schools and primary schools, private and public. I was inspired to find out what it was that made a school a ‘good school’. I wanted to unpack the myth about schooling and delve into the mysteries of academic recipes that would unlock the imaginative mind of young human beings. I wanted to find out if leafy green suburban schools were really better than poor township schools and in which conditions does meaningful learning occur.

Over time I compiled my thoughts and ideas about the criteria that I would suggest for a parent who was looking for a school for their child, but I certainly don’t hold these ideas to be the absolute truth. I want parents to feel empowered when they go to see a prospective school, and to make informed decisions that will best support them and their children.

A starting point…
Let’s say that you have already got a few names of schools you would like to find out more about, and maybe some of these schools are in a different part of the country because you may be willing to move town. You now decide you would like to visit them. Here are some guidelines that may support you in making an informed decision.

What do you see?
As you enter the school, does it invite you to explore further? Does it ignite your curiosity and make you wonder what the children are learning about? Do you wonder what’s around the next corner? Education is about guiding learning. It should not have to motivate or pull you along, let alone your child.

Do you see children smiling and conversing, or are they standing outside classrooms because of misdemeanors? Are they interacting and sharing, or are they all at their own desks minding their own business?

What is on the walls and surrounding surfaces? Are the pictures and work from two years ago, or are they current and relevant? Are they products of an activity (a nice painting or just a product of an instruction), or are they the learning process themselves?

Do the children have access to the resources in their environment, or do they always have to ask the teachers for permission? Do they move around the spaces as active participants and co-constructors, or do they feel they are in someone else’s space (do they feel the classroom is theirs or their teachers?)

Look at the details. Schools that consciously take into account the details of their environment will be able to see the details in your children. Are the plants looked after, the gardens well kept, the walls clean and the paintings hanging straight? If you are a conscious and aware school, you will see the details in all the things around you.

What do you hear?
Most meaningful learning happens when we apply ourselves to the concept we are learning about. We automatically reflect on how this concept fits into our current understanding and we grapple with it to make sense of it. Conversation and dialogue are primary tools used to ‘reflect on’ and ‘make meaning of’. Can you hear this in the classrooms? Do the teachers invite children to share their understandings and their meanings? Can you differentiate between bored noise and constructive noise? The latter is driven by curiosity and respect, by enthusiasm and passion.

Are the children laughing and having fun? Can you hear the respect and dignity of the teachers as they engage cooperation, or do the teachers use threats and fear to ensure obedience?

What do you read?
The literature that they present hopefully points to the vision and aspirations of the school. This is probably the area I would be most cautious in. You can pay someone to write lovely articulate and inspiring words. I loved a mission statement that said, “We provide a holistic environment that develops your child to reach his full potential.” The alarm bells go off in my head. Do we really have any idea as to what our full potential is as a human being, or even as a human species? I think that anyone who has applied some thought to this would never claim to be able to develop it, let alone describe it.

But more importantly, the real learning happens in the classroom, by the teachers who live out their attitudes and perceptions of the world. There is often a significant difference between what the prospectus says the children are experiencing and what really happens in the classroom.

What do you feel?
It is said that the quality of the education in the school is directly proportional to the quality of the relationships within that school. So how does the staff interact and communicate with each other? Do they communicate effectively and with respect? Your children will be copying their communication styles, so observe carefully.

Do the teachers get down to talk to the children at their eye-level? Do they rush to solve problems or do they support problem solving? Effective communication is the key to meaningful learning.

From the experience at our school, we have seen that the greater the sense of connectedness and belonging a child feels, the happier and more empowered they become. How does the school work with this? They may not articulate it in this way, but they should see a direct link between the emotional well being of a child and their scholastic ability.

The future of schooling is going to see parents as the most important factor in supporting a child’s development. There is a direct link between the child’s emotional patterns and those of the parents they learned them from. How does the school view parents – as fund raisers and fixers of buildings? And how do they, or not, support them so they can in turn impact their children more positively (how to communicate effectively, how to move away from punishment to guidance)? Does the school provide workshops on these important topics? Does the school extend the sense of connectedness and belonging to the parents as well? How does the school nurture these relationships (between the school and the parents and between the parents themselves)?

And then…?
Ask to sit in on a class. You wouldn’t buy a car without test driving it, would you? Are they open to sharing their experiences, or do they feel it will disturb the class? Are the teachers confident enough to open their doors to the unknown and to put themselves out there to be observed?

I admit that I have saved the best for last. Look for a school that can work with ‘possibilities’ and not just ‘options’. You can only choose ‘options’ and they are very limiting. A school that recognises the power of possibilities is a school that embraces growth and development. That school is a ‘great school’.

I enjoy it when a parent takes their child’s development as seriously as I do. It makes me feel part of a team that opens up the possibility of creating a nurturing environment that works for them, their child and for me. My wish is for parents not to be limited to just what there is on offer, but to engage in dialogue to ensure their needs are also met. Living and Learning together.

By Robin Booth – Life Coach

Here are 5 ways to help you discipline in an effective, positive way:

1. Don’t sweat the small stuff

With a small offence a warning is good enough. It’s not worth getting on your child’s case about every single thing he does wrong. However, remember to bear in mind the context of the offence. Simply give a warning and leave it at that.  If he hasn’t done this specific thing in a while, distract him and move on. If the offence is something he very much knows he shouldn’t be doing and is testing you by ignoring the warning, choose an appropriate discipline method. The punishment should always fit the crime, suggests Supernanny Jo Frost. Grounding a child for three weeks for breaking your lamp stand after you have warned him to stop running around in the house is overdoing it. A more appropriate punishment, seeing that it was an accident, would be for him to help you with house chores or wash your car to save up and buy another lamp. This doesn’t only teach him accountability but teaches him the value of money.

2. The tone

It’s all in the tone. It’s so easy to get carried away and scream in an angry, penetrating tone at the top of your voice. If your child gets used to this tone, it means that you will have to resort to using it every time before he actually listens. With a warning or any form of discipline, use a low, calm and authoritive voice at all times. It conveys to the child that mom is in control and that she means business.

3. Choose an appropriate discipline method

The discipline recipe

• Request: please pick up your toys.
• One warning. This gives your child a chance to correct his behaviour.
• Ultimatum. Let him know what the consequence is without threatening him: pick up your toys or you are going straight to the naughty chair. It gives the child a choice and let him know what the outcome will be.
• Choose an appropriate discipline method that fits the ‘crime’.
• Explanation. Let him know why he is being punished. Keep it short and simple.
• Ask him to apologise.
• Reassure him of your love. He needs to know that he is forgiven and that you still love him.
• It’s over – forget all about it and move on. Don’t hold it against him.
• Praise him for picking up his toys.

Below are a few examples of choosing an appropriate discipline method in various situations. Remember that each child is different and that you need to find what works for your child:

Example 1 – Apply common sense
4-Year old Levi has had his warning about leaving his bicycle out on the grass. Now, this is not a wilful act of disobedience as he has simply been sidetracked, but he needs to learn to put his bicycle away. Always choose an appropriate type of punishment by applying common sense. The most logical thing to do here is to take the privilege of riding his bike away for a period of time (perhaps a day or two). Ask him to apologise for not putting his bike away, reassure him of your love for him and explain to him that his bike might get stolen or driven over if he leaves it out on the grass. Praise him when he does remember to put his bike away.

Example 2 – Time-out
Mila refuses to tidy up and put her toys away. Mom uses the correct tone and gives her a warning. Mila throws herself on the floor and starts kicking and screaming. When a child is throwing a serious tantrum it can get both the parent and the child into a state, so a hiding is out of the question as it usually only makes matters worse and the situation can get out of control. Mom moves on to step 2 and gives her an ultimatum: Pick up your toys or you are going straight to the Naughty Chair! This only makes Mila act up more. Mom then chooses an appropriate correctional action and takes Mila to the Naughty Chair for time-out. Now, the idea here is not to punish her but to teach her, so mom explains that she needs to pick up her toys after playing with them otherwise they would get lost or broken and that it is good manners to tidy up when you are done playing (the “moral reason why”). With time-out the child will sit down one minute for every year of their age. Mila is three years old and Mom makes her sit on the chair for three minutes. If Mila gets off the chair before the three  minutes are up, mom will calmly take her back to the chair every time and explain shortly that she has to stay on the chair because she didn’t want to pick up her toys. It helps to wear a very indifferent look at this stage. After the three minutes mom asks her if she is ready to apologise and pick up her toys. It’s good to get your child into the habit of saying what she is apologising for. “Sorry for not listening and picking up my toys, mommy.” Mom then reassures her that she loves her very much but that it is important for her to listen to mommy and daddy. Mom praises her as she is tidying up her room.

Example 3 – Hard crime calls for hard punishment
Dad is teaching Jett road safety rules by asking him to place his hand on the outside of the car door when he gets out of the car. Jett is three and very independent, so he decides to cross the road without dad. He runs into the road, right in front of an oncoming car. When a child puts himself in danger (and has been warned previously) you need to choose a discipline method that conveys the seriousness of the situation. It doesn’t help if dad gives Jett time-out when he returns home in three hour’s time as this very serious moment would’ve been long forgotten by then! Choose a discipline method that you believe in and feel comfortable with, and act immediately.

Example 4 – Temper tantrums
Mom is going shopping and little Ava is skipping along enthusiastically. Mom knows it’s not a good idea to get Ava to behave by bribing her with a sweet treat, as this is not teaching her the importance of listening. Before they go into the shop, mom explains to Ava what she expects from her. The moment Ava sees a gap and has a captive audience, she starts demanding everything she lays her eyes on. When mom firmly says no, Ava throws herself down on the floor. Mom tries to give her a warning, but by now she is totally out of control. Mom leaves the trolley right there and takes Ava to the public restrooms where she explains to her that this behaviour is unacceptable. By removing her from the “scene of the crime” immediately, mom showed Ava that she means business. Mom tells her that she loves her very much and explains what she expects from Ava. They calmly return to continue their shopping. Mom praises Eva for being such a good girl.

Example 5 – Taking the context into consideration
Mom is running late and still has a million-and-one things to do before dad gets home. Sarah is in an impossible mood, which is only winding Mom up even more. If you don’t know anything about the situation, you would immediately assume that Sarah needs some serious discipline. But mom knows that Sarah missed her afternoon nap due to errands she had to run, and was also supposed to get her afternoon snack 45 minutes ago. It is understandable that she may be a little irritable and moody. It’s important to take the circumstances into consideration before applying punishment. Sarah needs something to eat and perhaps a power nap, not punishment. Being tired and hungry is of course no excuse for bad manners, but the situation should definitely be dealt with differently.

4.    Age appropriate independence
Showing their independence is a natural stage of growing up. Your child needs strong boundaries, but also needs to be given age appropriate choices - such as which dress she would like to wear, whether she would like her hair tied up or not, and whether she feels like having Oats or Pronutro for breakfast. The moment your child can’t handle the responsibility of accepting your choice for her, it means that she is not ready to make that choice. If you offer her tea in her pink cup and she refuses to drink it because she wants it in the red cup, you have a problem. She needs to learn that she can make some choices, but that all the other choices will be made by you and she needs to accept them. If she is struggling to accept this, take away some of her choices away and leave her with the ones she can cope with. You can introduce more choices as she shows readiness.

5. The secret ingredient
The most important aspect of discipline is being consistent. Decide what is not acceptable to you and stick to it – i.e. bad manners, disobedience and hurting others.  If Jett is allowed to jump on the couch today just because mom had a hectic day at work and is not in the mood to get into another fight with him, but tomorrow she sends him to the Naughty Chair for jumping on the couch, she is sending him mixed signals that will only confuse him. Yesterday he was the boss and today she is the boss again. Who will be the boss tomorrow?

What NOT to do when disciplining your child:

• Don’t repeat yourself or threaten your children as they are quick to recognise an empty threat. Stick to the one warning and ultimatum method.
• Don’t bribe your child in order to get him to behave the way you want him to, as this is not teaching him anything in the long run.
• Don’t ask him whether he would like to come and have breakfast, tell him to come and have breakfast.
• Don’t give long explanations, a child will lose you after the second sentence and start focusing on something else. Keep it short and sweet.
• Don’t count to three (or any other number for that matter), you are only giving him a gap. If he can do whatever it is that you expect him to do on the count of three, he can just as well do it on the count of one. Request, warn and issue an ultimatum.
• Don’t do the evil-eye thing. It needs to be followed up with an action otherwise it’s just another empty threat.

Every child is unique, which means that you need to experiment and find out what works best for you and your child. The reason we are disciplining our children is to teach them what is morally right and what is wrong, so that they can grow into well balanced adults that can stand up for themselves. Choose your battles and be consistent, even when it feels like all you are doing is disciplining your child. It will pay off eventually!

References:
Growing Families International
Suppernanny.com

Try to include from all the food groups every day:

• Dairy products
• Fruit and vegetables
• Breads and starches
• Protein: meat, fish, chicken, eggs, legumes
• Fats and oils, including nuts

Healthy meal ideas

If your toddler is a picky eater, be creative in your presentation and crafty with the foods you work into the meal. Here are some ideas for healthy meals:

• Cottage pie – blend carrots into the mash potato
• Spaghetti and meat/chicken balls – blend veggies and hide it in the meatballs
• Fish fingers and mash, veggies in the mash
• Macaroni and cheese
• Omelette or toasted soldiers (toast) with a soft boiled egg and wedges of cheese
• Fish and couscous
• Pasta salad – get creative with your add-ons: small pieces of ham/tuna, cheese, corn, peas etc
• Homemade mini hamburgers
• Homemade mini pizzas: Use a whole wheat (thin) base and top with chicken, finely chopped mushrooms, pineapple, feta and a bit of cheese. Or let your child add his own toppings.
• Use sweet potatoes to make chips (roasted) – spray with olive oil and sprinkle with sesame seeds (optional)
• Ham, pineapple and mozzarella kebabs (use straws as the sticks)

Healthy snack ideas

• Unbuttered popcorn
• Pretzels
• Fruit kebabs or pieces of fruit (use straws)
• Veggie sticks like cucumber, carrots and baby sweet corn with a yoghurt dip
• Low-fat yoghurt (not fat-free)
• Small quantities of dried fruit and nuts
• Make your own fruit ice lollies (real fruit juice diluted)
• Sarmies cut in shapes (use cookie cutters)
• Crackers with thin layers of mashed avo (instead of margarine) and cheese
• Apple and banana pieces with a yoghurt dip
• Homemade tuna dip: cottage cheese, tuna and a little bit of lemon juice
• Biltong sticks
• Ants on a log: peanut butter on a piece of celery, topped with a few raisins
• Smoothies (yoghurt, fruit, honey, milk and anything else you can think of)

Lunch box ideas

The lunch box often contains most of the day’s menu as it gets filled with a mid-morning snack, lunch and a breakfast – if that was skipped. Some foods need to be kept chilled, so it’s a good idea to use an insulated lunch box or bag. The key here is variety and creativity, otherwise these lunches will soon be swapped for someone else’s. Here are some lunch box ideas:

• Don’t always use normal flat bread; play around with tortillas, pitas, crackers etc
• Finger foods: Cubes of ham, slices of chicken, cheese sticks, baby tomatoes, grapes, a few crackers or a sarmie, meatballs etc
• Pinwheel sarmies: Cut off the crust, flatten the slices of bread with a roller. Smear with a thin layer of cream cheese /cottage cheese and a slice of cold meat. Roll up, cover in cling wrap and store in the fridge for half an hour. Cut into wheels.
• Mini homemade muffins (banana, honey and seed, bran, carrot and nuts, cheese and herb)
• Mini pizza slices
• Yoghurt or yogi-sip
• A treat like a biscuit or a packet of jelly babies now and then will make their day

Sandwich fillings:

• Cheese and tomato (prevent tomato from going soggy by placing it between two slices of cheese or cheese and ham)
• Tuna, egg or chicken mayo
• Sliced cold / roast meats
• Cream cheese / Melrose and ham
• Marmite / Bovril
• Sandwich spread
• Peanut butter and honey
• Savoury mince
• Fish paste
• Jam and cheese

Sweet treats

It’s important for your child to enjoy an uncomplicated, balanced childhood and that includes getting spoilt with a sweet treat every now and then. The wise thing would be to choose the better of two treats, i.e. a small pack of jelly babies would be a better option than a chocolate. Then again, if you are having the occasional chocolate, give him/her a small piece of chocolate – everything is acceptable as long as it’s done in moderation. Herewith some interesting treat ideas:

• Banana custard
• Digestive biscuits
• Fruit kebab (use a straw) or fruit salad
• Apple muffins
• Jelly and custard (add jelly worm sweets or any gooey animals sweets to the jelly)
• Banana/Apple and seed flapjacks: Add grated apple or mashed banana to the mixture. Use honey or molasses instead of sugar and add a handful of seeds.
• Marie burgers: Place a Marie biscuit with a marshmallow on top of it in the microwave until the marshmallow starts swelling. Place another Marie biscuit on top. If you want to creative a super-duper treat, dip a piece of the “burger” in carob (chocolate substitute) and top with sprinkles.
• Make your own crunchies – replace the syrup with honey, white sugar with brown sugar and margarine with butter. Add seeds.

No-no’s

It’s all about balance. It’s just not fair to deprive a child of everything that we consider to be “bad” – such as biscuits, sweets, crisps or a fizzy as it will just create issues in later years. That being said, it’s important to maintain an overall healthy eating plan. Children follow the example of their parents. “Don’t do as I do, but do as I say” just doesn’t work. It’s better for the whole family to adopt a healthy lifestyle without being rigid.

Try to avoid:

• Fizzy drinks
• Always giving juice or bunny milk (Nesquik) instead of water and plain low-fat milk
• Coffee, Coke and diet cooldrinks
• Opting for easy foods like crisps, sweets and biscuits as these empty kilojoules are not filling and have little nutritional value. Use it as a treat only.
• Skipping breakfast
• Giving tuck shop money every day
• White bread. As a rule give brown, whole-wheat or seed bread

Healthy meals and healthy snacks take time to plan and prepare. They also require you to think out of the lunch box. Keep a “health box” at home for those peckish moments and interesting lunch add-ons. Another bright idea is to keep a little container with healthy snacks in your car if you have a toddler – things don’t always go according to plan and they don’t like their snack time being messed with! As mothers, we don’t always get it right, but the fact that we constantly try is good enough!

Walking, running and climbing
Most children start walking between the ages of nine and 16 months, the average age being about 14 months. If your child is not walking independently by 16 months of age, contact your pediatrician just to be on the safe side. About six months after your toddler masters walking, he or she will probably be running. And by 24 months most toddlers can run with good balance. When it comes to climbing, by 15 months your toddler can climb stairs on hands and knees and will soon be an expert at climbing on low-height furniture. By 18 months your toddler can walk up stairs with some assistance, and by 21 months walk down stairs if hand is held. By 24 months your toddler can go up and down alone, holding on to the railing or wall. And by 30 to 36 months, he or she can negotiate stairs perfectly by alternating feet.

Other movements
When your toddler is about 24 months he or she should be able to kick a ball and jump off the floor. Although kicking a ball seems simple to you, remember that it requires both physical coordination skills as well as thinking skills in order to understand cause and effect. Be aware – once toddlers discover that a ball bounces, they might try throwing other things as well to see if they bounce. In your child’s second year, he or she should also start scribbling and self-feeding with a spoon, as they learn to control the muscles in their hands better. Closer to the age of three, around 30-36 months, your toddler will be jumping off steps and is able to pedal a tricycle.

Language and communication
Learning how to talk is a huge toddler milestone, and you’ll be amazed by how quickly your child’s communication skills develop. By 15-18 months your toddler should start using a few real words, and between 18 and 24 months most children progress to simple two-word phrases. Soon after that short sentences will start forming, and by the age of three, 5-6 word sentences should be part of most toddlers’ communication skills. By now your child will also ask a lot of what-questions and know his or her own name, sex and age. A general guideline is a vocabulary of about 10 single words by 18 months, 20 single words by 21 months and 50-100 words by 24 months. If you have heard no words by 18 months, or if speech is unclear or there is no understanding or interest in language, contact your pediatrician just to be on the safe side. Also keep in mind that up until the age of three children understand a lot more than they can say, so remember to talk lots about everything that’s happening and know that your toddler will pick up most of it. Treating your child as a talker and listening carefully to everything he or she says is also important, as this encourages them to learn.

Sleeping
A child’s sleeping pattern changes as soon as a baby turns into a toddler. While your baby needed two naps a day or more, your toddler can do with just one afternoon nap. It’s very important to try and stick to a routine when it comes to napping, because if your toddler sleeps a lot during the day he or she won’t want to go to sleep in the evening, and will probably also wake up more often throughout the night. When your child is 24-36 months old you might find that he or she is not so interested in having an afternoon nap anymore. But quiet time is still needed, so sit and read together or wind down to get some rest from a busy day. A tired toddler is a cranky toddler, so make sure you try to keep the afternoon nap routine going for as long as you possibly can. It’s common that toddlers have dropped their morning nap by 18 months or earlier, and most will drop their afternoon nap around the age of three.

Potty training
This huge toddler milestone will take place any time from 18 to 36 months old. Every child is different, but you should be able to tell when your little one is ready. He or she will start showing interest in a potty and in normal underwear, while at the same time start feeling uncomfortable in dirty nappies – wanting them to be changed more often. Try to avoid intense potty training during a stressful time, such as moving house or having relatives staying for a long period of time, and don’t push your child or punish accidents and mistakes. Show praise and encouragement when he or she is doing well, and you’ll find that your toddler will be out of nappies in no time.

Playing
When your toddler is between 18 and 24 months you might see him or her feeding a doll, talking in to a pretend phone or tucking a teddy into bed. Major changes in toddlers’ brains now allow them to play make-believe! By two years your toddler should be able to build a tower out of four cubes, and by three years your toddler will probably throw a ball overhand. There are plenty of other small milestones within the field of play as well, but every toddler is different so try to relax and simply enjoy the fact that your child is progressing and learning new things every day.

Social and emotional skills
You could actually compare a toddler to a teenager if you look at all the powerful emotions they are going through while learning to use their own judgment and asserting themselves. As they get older, toddlers will slowly but surely start sharing toys and food – even though it’s only for a short period of time. Interaction and awareness of others, through playing with friends and siblings, will also become more and more apparent. Many toddlers will form a bond with objects, such as a soft toy or blanket, which in many ways means they are trying to replace their close baby-bond with mom. Toddlers will also soon enough start reading other’s emotional reactions and learning from them. Close to the age of three a toddler will show a strong sense of self as an individual, and start offering help when seeing distress in others’ feelings.

Interest and understanding
By 18 months your toddler should be able to point to body parts you name, or point to objects for you to name. Your toddler might also by now bring things to show you, or point to things he or she sees and wants to share with you. By about 24 months most toddlers can identify two items in a picture by pointing, and by 36 months identify four pictures by naming – as well as identify a friend by naming. By three years of age a toddler will also understand and master health practices such as washing and drying hands, using a tissue to wipe their nose, dressing and undressing themselves and paying attention to safety instructions.

These few toddler developmental milestones are just some of many changes your child will go through between the age of one and three years old. Just keep in mind that every child is different, so if your toddler is a couple of months early or a couple of months behind this general guideline, don’t panic. Just try to relax and enjoy all the special moments!